State-of-the-Art Shitcode Principles
This a list of state-of-the-art shitcode principles your project should follow to call it a proper shitcode.
Read this in other languages: ็ฎไฝไธญๆ, ํ๊ตญ์ด
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The Principles
๐ฉ Name variables in a way as if your code was already obfuscated
Fewer keystrokes, more time for you.
Good ๐๐ป
let a = 42;Bad ๐๐ป
let age = 42;๐ฉ Mix variable/functions naming style
Celebrate the difference.
Good ๐๐ป
let wWidth = 640;
let w_height = 480;Bad ๐๐ป
let windowWidth = 640;
let windowHeight = 480;๐ฉ Never write comments
No one is going to read your code anyway.
Good ๐๐ป
const cdr = 700;Bad ๐๐ป
More often comments should contain some 'why' and not some 'what'. If the 'what' is not clear in the code, the code is probably too messy.
// The number of 700ms has been calculated empirically based on UX A/B test results.
// @see: <link to experiment or to related JIRA task or to something that explains number 700 in details>
const callbackDebounceRate = 700;๐ฉ Always write comments in your native language
If you violated the "No comments" principle then at least try to write comments in a language that is different from the language you use to write the code. If your native language is English you may violate this principle.
Good ๐๐ป
// ะะฐะบัะธะฒะฐัะผะพ ะผะพะดะฐะปัะฝะต ะฒัะบะพะฝะตัะบะพ ะฟัะธ ะฒะธะฝะธะบะฝะตะฝะฝั ะฟะพะผะธะปะบะธ.
toggleModal(false);Bad ๐๐ป
// Hide modal window on error.
toggleModal(false);๐ฉ Try to mix formatting style as much as possible
Celebrate the difference.
Good ๐๐ป
let i = ['tomato', 'onion', 'mushrooms'];
let d = [ "ketchup", "mayonnaise" ];Bad ๐๐ป
let ingredients = ['tomato', 'onion', 'mushrooms'];
let dressings = ['ketchup', 'mayonnaise'];๐ฉ Put as much code as possible into one line
Good ๐๐ป
document.location.search.replace(/(^\?)/,'').split('&').reduce(function(o,n){n=n.split('=');o[n[0]]=n[1];return o},{})Bad ๐๐ป
document.location.search
.replace(/(^\?)/, '')
.split('&')
.reduce((searchParams, keyValuePair) => {
keyValuePair = keyValuePair.split('=');
searchParams[keyValuePair[0]] = keyValuePair[1];
return searchParams;
},
{}
)๐ฉ Fail silently
Whenever you catch an error it is not necessary for anyone to know about it. No logs, no error modals, chill.
Good ๐๐ป
try {
// Something unpredictable.
} catch (error) {
// tss... ๐คซ
}Bad ๐๐ป
try {
// Something unpredictable.
} catch (error) {
setErrorMessage(error.message);
// and/or
logError(error);
}๐ฉ Use global variables extensively
Globalization principle.
Good ๐๐ป
let x = 5;
function square() {
x = x ** 2;
}
square(); // Now x is 25.Bad ๐๐ป
let x = 5;
function square(num) {
return num ** 2;
}
x = square(x); // Now x is 25.๐ฉ Create variables that you're not going to use.
Just in case.
Good ๐๐ป
function sum(a, b, c) {
const timeout = 1300;
const result = a + b;
return a + b;
}Bad ๐๐ป
function sum(a, b) {
return a + b;
}๐ฉ Don't specify types and/or don't do type checks if language allows you to do so.
Good ๐๐ป
function sum(a, b) {
return a + b;
}
// Having untyped fun here.
const guessWhat = sum([], {}); // -> "[object Object]"
const guessWhatAgain = sum({}, []); // -> 0Bad ๐๐ป
function sum(a: number, b: number): ?number {
// Covering the case when we don't do transpilation and/or Flow type checks in JS.
if (typeof a !== 'number' && typeof b !== 'number') {
return undefined;
}
return a + b;
}
// This one should fail during the transpilation/compilation.
const guessWhat = sum([], {}); // -> undefined๐ฉ You need to have an unreachable piece of code
This is your "Plan B".
Good ๐๐ป
function square(num) {
if (typeof num === 'undefined') {
return undefined;
}
else {
return num ** 2;
}
return null; // This is my "Plan B".
}Bad ๐๐ป
function square(num) {
if (typeof num === 'undefined') {
return undefined;
}
return num ** 2;
}๐ฉ Triangle principle
Be like a bird - nest, nest, nest.
Good ๐๐ป
function someFunction() {
if (condition1) {
if (condition2) {
asyncFunction(params, (result) => {
if (result) {
for (;;) {
if (condition3) {
}
}
}
})
}
}
}Bad ๐๐ป
async function someFunction() {
if (!condition1 || !condition2) {
return;
}
const result = await asyncFunction(params);
if (!result) {
return;
}
for (;;) {
if (condition3) {
}
}
}๐ฉ Mess with indentations
Avoid indentations since they make complex code take up more space in the editor. If you're not feeling like avoiding them then just mess with them.
Good ๐๐ป
const fruits = ['apple',
'orange', 'grape', 'pineapple'];
const toppings = ['syrup', 'cream',
'jam',
'chocolate'];
const desserts = [];
fruits.forEach(fruit => {
toppings.forEach(topping => {
desserts.push([
fruit,topping]);
});})Bad ๐๐ป
const fruits = ['apple', 'orange', 'grape', 'pineapple'];
const toppings = ['syrup', 'cream', 'jam', 'chocolate'];
const desserts = [];
fruits.forEach(fruit => {
toppings.forEach(topping => {
desserts.push([fruit, topping]);
});
})๐ฉ Do not lock your dependencies
Update your dependencies on each new installation in uncontrolled way. Why stick to the past, let's use the cutting edge libraries versions.
Good ๐๐ป
$ ls -la
package.json
Bad ๐๐ป
$ ls -la
package.json
package-lock.json
๐ฉ Always name your boolean value a flag
Leave the space for your colleagues to think what the boolean value means.
Good ๐๐ป
let flag = true;Bad ๐๐ป
let isDone = false;
let isEmpty = false;๐ฉ Long-read functions are better than short ones.
Don't divide a program logic into readable pieces. What if your IDE's search breaks and you will not be able to find the necessary file or function?
- 10000 lines of code in one file is OK.
- 1000 lines of a function body is OK.
- Dealing with many services (3rd party and internal, also, there are some helpers, database hand-written ORM and jQuery slider) in one
service.js? It's OK.
๐ฉ Avoid covering your code with tests
This is a duplicate and unnecessary amount of work.
๐ฉ As hard as you can try to avoid code linters
Write code as you want, especially if there is more than one developer in a team. This is a "freedom" principle.
๐ฉ Start your project without a README file.
And keep it that way for the time being.
๐ฉ You need to have unnecessary code
Don't delete the code your app doesn't use. At most, comment it.